Day One

We have embarked on our adventure to Haiti. It has been almost eight months since the devastating earthquake. The opportunity was presented to Derek to spend a week in Port-Au-Prince through Cure International. After Derek went to Uganda, I told him the next mission he went on I would go. I prayed about it, that if it was meant to be, everything for the trip would fall into place...and it did. Funding easily came through three different sponsors. We found an inexpensive flight into Harrisburg for my Dad to stay with our kids. Over the past few weeks my anxieties about leaving the children and our safety have, at times, been overwhelming. I fasted and prayed for comfort. During my fast I searched the scriptures and found some comfort in Psalms 41:1-2. "Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble. The Lord will preserve him, and keep him alive: and he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies." Several days later the fear and anxiety once again became overwhelming. I prayed to find comfort in my scripture studies that evening. I opened my scriptures and immediately the word "poor" jumped out to me. I found my answer in Doctrine and Covenants 44:6. "Behold, I say unto you, that ye must visit the poor and the needy and administer to their relief". God is good and he does answer prayers. I have decided to "go forward with faith". I have found comfort in taking the focus from myself and praying for those we will serve. My heart broke as I kissed Kenyon, Damon and Selah in the middle of the night to begin our mission. I love my children so much and pray that we will be an example to them. We are preparing to land in Port-Au-Prince now.

Derek, Hilary, Dr. Rubbo

We just arrived at our hotel, and I have seen more than my heart can handle, the devastation is worse than I imagined. As we left the airport we walked into chaos. I feared for my life, I clung to Derek as we walked through a crowd of Haitians fighting to assist us, screaming at one another, yanking our luggage and demanding a tip if they touched a part of our bag. At that moment without saying a word to each other Derek and I both thought, "what have we done?, we shouldn't have come, we have three little dependents at home who deserve for their parents to return". Derek said, "from this point on you will not be out of my sight, except to use the bathroom, and for that you are not to go alone". It was the first time in our marriage of over ten years that Derek told me what I will do. I was grateful for his tone and concern for me. What a relief when we saw Phil Hudson (Haiti Relief Director). He stepped in and took over. He assigned porters to each of our luggage carts, although there were fights for our luggage even after we left. Phil hurried us to a van and had water bottles for each of us, a welcomed gift. Once we were loaded we met Loubance, Phil's translator. He put me at ease and I knew (or at least had high hopes) that he would keep us safe. We learned that he was born in Haiti but lived in the states for 13 years of childhood. We then began our drive to our hotel. The devastation was far worse than I ever could have imagined. Rubble and garbage everywhere. The tent cities were heartbreaking. Over 1.3 million people in Port-Au-Prince live in tents/tarps. In recent months 1.5 million have been relocated to tin-like homes in the hills. We were told that if Port-Au-Prince had 1, 000 large dump trucks and worked 24/7 it would take 5 years to clear all the rubble. Imagine the concrete from seven Hoover dams crumbled over the city. Our 40 minute drive took about two hours, it was emotional. Our hotel is this little oasis amongst the chaos. Although, I can't get the nightmare beyond the gates out of my head.

Phil loading our luggage, the two men are waiting for a tip after
Phil has told them several times he does not need help with the luggage.

This man is living under the rubble in a make shift shelter. (Look to the right of the arrow and straight down)

One of the many tent cities. Most of the tarps were provided by USAID.

As you can see here, Haitians have found a way to live amongst the rubble. Tables are set up selling items on the street as if the rubble was not there.

Market

This was the view from the window in our hotel room.
This teenage boy bathed his little brother in reclaimed rain water every evening.

Day Two

Today was our first day working at the hospital. I have fallen in love with the people, especially the children. I came to make them smile, they made me smile. My favorites: Mirlanda, a girl who has been at the hospital since the earthquake in January. Her right femur was crushed. She has an external fixator on her right leg. Her bone is infected and will not heal. Mia, a little girl who had a leg amputated. She is the happiest child. She frolics around the hospital with her little red, yellow and blue crutches. My very favorite is Sondi (Soon-zie). His smile is contagious. He calls me Mom. We colored together and played a game. I draw a picture of something in the room and he has to find it. Others in the post op room joined in...teens and adults too. We had so much fun. I find myself wanting to spend all my time with young Sondi. I miss my kids, but I know they are in good hands. I need this experience, I will take more from this opportunity than I can ever give. The children of Haiti will give me more than I can give them. They have taught me so much already about joy and resilience. Tonight we had a lovely dinner on the covered patio at the hotel. The evening was beautiful, we enjoyed the storm as it rolled in. The rain was pouring down, the tropical breeze was a nice relief from the heat of the day. Our enjoyment quickly turned to sorrow when Pam mentioned the tent/tarp cities. All of a sudden the rain turned from contentment to a nightmare for the thousands who could not escape the discomfort of wet, muddy beds. We were immediately humbled. We decided to put down our drinks and silverware and pray for the Haitians. As the rain dumped all around us and others were laughing and enjoying their dinners, we all held hands (eleven of us) around the large table and prayed for their comfort.

Cindy Demuth, Melissa, Daniella, Me

Mirlanda, holding pics of my kids

Mirlanda's leg, this is not rare to see

Me and Sondi, coloring in Ortho post op

Mia, a successful amputation

Day Three

This morning I had my usual breakfast of greasy, dense pancakes in the shape of a spiral jetty and tropical juice. I actually look forward to breakfast because it is a nice break from the rice and beans I have for lunch and dinner. We rode in our tap tap to the hospital. A tap tap is a form of public transport. It is a colorful truck with a shell and bench seats. It often has words like "Thank you Jesus" or "In God We Trust" painted in bold letters. (I believe it is the faith of the Haitian people that helps them endure). When you want to get off you "tap tap" the roof. One tap to go, two to get off. As soon as the tap tap turns in the opposite direction as you want to go, you "tap tap", hop off and wait for another tap tap that is headed in the direction you desire. They are quite amusing to ride in, especially on the torn up, bumpy streets. I love to ride to and from the hospital. I really get a feel for the culture riding in the open back truck. The children typically smile and wave. I'm sure we are a novelty, our team of twelve Americans all in scrubs. The joke is, "How many people fit in a tap tap?" The answer, "one more".

Leaving our hotel "Auberge de Quebec", on our way to the hospital.

Sondi went home this morning. I am happy for him, but sad for me...I love that little guy. Dr. Rubbo and Derek did an AKA this morning. I circulated, it was interesting trying to describe to the Haitian staff what instruments we needed. I found myself playing charades to locate an instrument. Bonom was wonderful, the two of us on a mission to keep the case going. There is a saying in Haiti, "nothing works, make it work". We did this many times! (I found myself underneath the hospital searching for an allen wrench in the maintenance area. We found one and sterilized it for a case.) It was surreal to watch this young man (Joseph) lose his leg. My heart went out to him. The halls of the hospital were packed today with hundreds of people waiting to be seen. It was 100 degrees today and the halls wreaked of body odor. I went outside to the Canada tent for some fresh air. I held an adorable baby, who was in a pink onesie...I later found out she was actually a he. Derek rounded on one of the little patients in the tent, Denise. She screamed at the sight of Derek and Dr. Rubbo. She is my project for tomorrow. I want to get her more comfortable with the staff. I also visited a healthy baby boy named David. He is living in the tent with his young mom. David's Dad died in the earthquake, their house crumbled and buried him. David and his mom are healthy and only here because they have no where else to go. David never met his dad because he was still in utero when the earthquake happened.

Me and Cindy in OR 2

Joseph's leg before the amputation.
The large bump is a bone tumor, you can see his knee above the tumor.

Dr. Rubbo and Derek making the first cuts on Joseph's leg

Little David and his young mom. We brought a box of baby food from home, she was so grateful.

Denise

This evening I rounded with Derek on the post-op Ortho patients. We went to see our AKA patient. His eyes were closed when we sat down next to his cot. He slowly opened his eyes and in broken English asked Derek his name and how to spell it. With tears in his eyes he said, "pray for me". Derek told him he would. Then he requested, "right now" in a soft humble voice. So Derek picked up his hand and said a beautiful prayer asking God to bless him to make a full recovery and live a long life. I held his hand and told him God loved him. With tears in his eyes he whispered, "I know". I'm not sure I would have the same faith if I were in his place. Joseph's mom died in the earthquake. His sister stayed close by taking care of him. I love these people. Our next patient was a gunshot wound to the thigh. We told him he could walk tomorrow and he all but jumped out of his cot. He was thrilled with the news. He raised his arm straight in the air and shouted. "my savior" in Creole. I have never once heard a Haitian complain. They have sat on filthy floors for hours waiting and hoping to be seen, and never a complaint that I saw. They are always so gracious. We have a lot to learn from these people.

Gunshot patient

I found this beautiful woman in the halls of the hospital, I don't think she was a patient. She is just living here because she has nowhere else to go.
She is the oldest person I saw in Haiti. Life expectancy is only 52.

This is young Jean Baptiste. He was so happy to color. One of the only lines I mastered in Creole is "Eske ou vle colore?" which means, "do you want to color?"

Day Four

After our morning devotional, I went to check on Joseph. His spirit is incredible. He was walking around with crutches, less than 24 hours after his amputation! He had a huge smile on his face as he mastered the stairs in front of the hospital...he is 20 and just lost his leg! He is strong and resilient. I pray that the cancer left with his leg. He is my favorite patient, interesting that he is in the same post op cot that Sondi stayed in. We spent a lot of time together today, playing games and drawing. He enjoyed listening to my ipod, which got passed from patient to patient. I'm so glad I had it, it was a hit and brought a smile to a lot of faces. I am grateful to be on the floor and out in the tent today, as the OR was a bit much for me yesterday. I love giving toys out to the children. We are half way through the week, I am so grateful to be here.

Morning devotional

Me and Joseph walking the halls

Joseph mastering the stairs. Derek had to tell him it was time to head back to rest,
Joseph wanted to keep practicing the stairs.

Joseph and his beautiful sister. She stayed by his side the entire time he was in the hospital.

The Canada tent. Long term, low maintenance patients live here as
do several families that have no where else to go. I always enjoy spending time out here, it is a nice break from the hospital.

We drove across Port-Au-Prince this evening and had a fabulous dinner at the Pizza Garden with Phil Hudson. It was a nice change from the rice and beans. It seemed that we had driven right out of Haiti because the atmosphere was much nicer than what we have been experiencing. The drive was long and bumpy both ways, but it was a lovely evening and a nice break from our reality here in Haiti. Derek had to go back to the hospital with Dr. Judson after dinner to put a chest tube in a patient with a collapsed lung.

Group photo, out of scrubs!
Jessica (hospital staff), Dr. Jeff Chen (Anesthesiologist), Dr. Judson (Cardiovascular Surgeon), Dr. John Reidell (General Surgeon), Me, Dr. George Faries (General Surgeon), Dr. Demuth (Orthopedic Surgeon), LeAnn (OR Nurse), Dr. Cindy Demuth (Pediatrician), Dr. Rubbo (Orthopedic Surgeon), Derek (Orthopedic Surgeon), "Nana Pam" (Nurse)

Day Five

Today was a breaking point, we have seen too much. The hardest thing for me was Joseph going home. I truly care about him. From the moment I heard about his bone tumor and the fact that we would lose his leg, my heart went out to him. I hadn't even met him. I witnessed his amputation, I threw his leg in the garbage. My care and concern for him escalated at that moment. I knew there was a chance the cancer may have spread to his other organs. But the moment we shared with him, praying next to his cot, was a moment that changed me. I fell in love with his strength, resilience, faith and spirit. I cared for him like he was my own child. He didn't have his mom there to hold his hand through it all, she died in the earthquake, so I filled that role. I spent the last two days trying to keep his spirits up and his mind off the devastation of losing his leg. Instead, he lifted my spirit and made me smile. I gave him one of Kenyon's coins and told him it is good luck. I believe that Joseph was the reason I came to Haiti. God crossed our paths for a small moment in time for a reason. We had something to learn from one another. I know I am better because I knew him. He taught me a lot about life and I will miss him. May God bless him with a long life full of joy and strength is my prayer.

The next difficult part of the day was going to the orphanage. Me and Cindy went with Brooke (a nurse who has been living in Haiti for six months). This orphanage is rock bottom, in more way than one. It is hard to imagine being poorer than this. When the earthquake hit the orphanage crumbled. Franz, one of the translators at the hospital has been clearing the rubble for the last seven months. His mom cares for these little orphans, all 45 of them. She gets no break and no relief from her job. The conditions are less than the basic necessities of life. There are several tents set up amongst the rubble. The children sleep in these dusty tents with no mats, blankets or pillows, just a tent on crumbled concrete. Many of the children are malnourished, they live off rice and a few beans. Several of them had terrible coughs and what appears to be scabies. Some of the little ones' hair is changing color, which is a sign of malnourishment. Some of their tummies are swollen, due to a lack of protein. I took the temperature of the sick orphans while Cindy listened to their heart and lungs. We did a quick assessment so Brooke could diagnose and treat them with meds from the hospital. After we examined them, we blew up exam gloves and tied them off. The children were delighted. We blew up 45 gloves! I wanted to take all 45 kids home, it was difficult to turn and walk away from them. Cindy was in tears, I held it together on the drive back to the hospital. The instant I saw Derek, I burst into tears. I had seen too much. We walked to the roof of the hospital and embraced. We cried together. A huge storm blew in and we stood there in the rain, holding each other. Derek reached his breaking point after spending a day in ortho clinic (literally a storage closet, a wooden shelf is used for the patient to sit on). Derek told me the patients are not doing well, they are not healing after their surgeries. He was hopeless as he told patient after patient that there was nothing more that could be done for them, they would just have to live with it. The lack of proper nourishment, sanitation, medication and availability of health care prevent people from healing.

The orphanage

Young orphan boy

The kids were thrilled with the balloons, even the older ones

Me and Cindy with the children

Beautiful orphan girls

Ortho Clinic

View from the roof of the hospital

Day Six

I had a difficult time sleeping last night, I'm also struggling with my appetite. We arrived at the hospital this morning with broken spirits. After morning devotional I was gathering my things together, with a lump in my throat wondering how I would make it through another day here. Local Haitians gather together each morning to pray and sing hymns. I heard their voices. I followed the sound to get as close as I could. I could not see them, but I could hear their angelic voices, they were singing, "How Great Thou Art" in Creole! It was beautiful. I stood on the ramp in the hospital listening to them sing. I could feel of their hope and faith in God, my faith was strengthened and my hope restored. I felt renewed. I hurried to post op and played with little Jean Baptiste, His smile should hold me through the next couple of days.

Jean Baptiste

Physical Therapy

We did a case today on a 28 year old woman who had a strange growths on her knee. Her X-ray showed a chunk of her tibia missing. Never seeing anything like this before, Derek and Dr. Rubbo opened up her knee. They pulled out handfulls of dead tissue. It was obvious she would have to lose her leg to survive. The case went well from then on, but I knew Derek was devastated to have to take this young woman's leg off. It broke his heart that she would wake up from surgery and discover she had lost her leg. It was difficult, but they made the right decision, they saved her life.

Her leg before surgery

Dr. Rubbo and Derek preparing for the case

Closing after the amputation

Yvonlise was so gracious, she thanked Derek. We told her we would be praying for her.